Getting What It Takes

Condoms and Lubricants

It may happen that after a bad experience with one brand of condom, you decide that you don’t like condoms and you won’t use them anymore. Just a minute! What you should instead do is to explore different types of condoms. These days there is great variety: latex, polyurethane, thin, ribbed, large, adjusted, etc. What type suits you best? You have to take the time to explore. We don’t buy the first shirt we see on the rack, we take the time to try it on and to make sure it suits us.

This is also the time to learn about water- or silicone-based lubricants. Again, there are many types, and each one has certain properties (more liquid, stickier, etc.). You just have to try them! You can put lubricant on the inside or outside of a condom. A few drops will be sufficient to make it feel more comfortable and to increase the level of sensation.

Non-Verbal Communication

There can be communication without exchanging a single word! A few tips for making your partner understand that using a condom is non-negotiable:
•    Always have condoms and lubricant with you: you never know what may happen.
•    Find ways to remind yourself to have safe sex (e.g., wear a special bracelet, write a code on your wrist, etc.)
•    If you plan to take someone home with you, have condoms and lubricant readily available just about everywhere because you never know where you will have sex
•    At the sauna, let the corner of the condom pack stick out from the towel around your waist. Leave condoms and lubricant in plain sight, on the night table, for example.
•    If you have taken alcohol or drugs and you feel less able to have safe sex, explore other sexual practices such as caresses, kisses, fellatio, rimming, etc. Anal penetration is not a must.
•    Remember that you have the last word about using a condom.

“The condom broke!”

Condoms sometimes break or tear .... Condom breakage is usually the result of incorrect use. When a condom breaks, we are exposed to the same risks we are exposed to without any protection, namely to HIV and to sexually transmitted infections. Here are a few tips for keeping your condom intact:
•    Always check the expiry date on the condom box or wrapper; do not use it past the expiry date
•    Do not keep condoms in your pockets, wallet, or any other place they may be exposed to movement or to heat.
•    Check for a batch number on the wrapper. This number tells us if quality tests have been conducted
•    Do not open the condom wrapper with your teeth or with scissors.
•    Be careful with rings, nails, or body piercings when handling the condom.
•    Always pinch the end of the condom before you unroll it on your penis. This step is important and is often neglected. Not doing this is often the cause of a condom breaking.
•    Put the condom on at the right time, that is, before any contact with genital organs.
•    Always use a water- or silicone-based lubricant
•    During penetration, verify the position of the condom. Just take a few seconds to look or use your hand.

Should your condom break or if you have unprotected sex, you may have access to post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP). PEP consists of taking medications against HIV for a few weeks. The purpose of PEP is to prevent HIV infection. Before prescribing PEP, a physician must evaluate the risks of transmission. Treatment must begin in the hours following the sexual relation (ideally within 48 hours, the maximum being 72 hours).

PEP IS NOT A MIRACLE PILL. The medications prescribed for PEP are the same as for people living with HIV, that is, a combination of three different medications, to be taken at set times and in accordance with precise instructions. These medications must be taken for a few weeks and have major side effects such as diarrhea, vomiting, severe fatigue, etc.

Using Drugs and Alcohol

You want to dance all night and “party.” You want to draw on the energy of the crowd and be part of the group. You want to make it easier to meet other people, and maybe even have physical contact with other guys. Here are a few personal strategies that can help you to minimize the probability of a bad trip:
•    Decide about your drug and alcohol use before you go out (e.g. : how much you will take throughout the night).
•    Instead of taking your drugs or drinking your alcohol all at once, spread out their use throughout the night: this way, you can see how you react to their effects. Avoid mixing drugs. If you do mix them, take them in small quantities to see how you react to these combinations.
•    Make sure some friends are around. And if you do have a bad trip, you have people there to help you if you need it.
•    Remember that if you don’t want to use drugs or alcohol, there are alternatives: have some energy drinks, sleep a little before you go to an afterhours spot, etc.
•    To help you get through the down that follows when you take cocaine, speed, crystal, or ecstasy, get plenty of rest, sleep, and food.